Harry Piland

I enjoy reading about and observing effective leaders. Great leaders have a notable common attribute—they are learners. They have a passion for digesting new concepts. Lifelong learning is their mantra. Harry Piland was the epitome of a spiritual leader and lifelong learner. Dr. Piland, retired Director of the Sunday School Division at LifeWay, passed away in 2001.  The following are a few tips I learned from Harry’s leadership.

Effective leaders learn by reading. Even in his early seventies, Harry was a prolific reader. He was always asking his friends what they were reading and he soaked up everything he could get his hands on. If you mentioned a book he had not read, Harry would buy it that week and devour it. I quickly learned that if Harry thought a book was worth the read, I wouldn’t regret the purchase.
Effective leaders read a variety of books. They find leadership principles in the Bible, novels, biographies, magazines, and sociology books. What have you read recently? What did you learn about yourself, about ministry, about people, about leadership? Break out of your mold. Pick up a book from a genre you normally don’t read. In addition to Christian magazines, read business pieces such as Fast Company or Fortune to understand how businesses are dealing with technology and management issues.

Effective leaders learn from others. When I was fortunate enough to have an opportunity to sit down and talk with Harry, I tried to squeeze the wisdom out of this great leader by asking questions and soliciting advice on leadership issues. Not long into our conversations, I realized Harry had changed the direction of the questions and I was the one being quizzed. Harry loved to hear fresh ideas ministers were using to reach people and grow churches.
When Harry attended a professional conference, he was not out in the hallways networking with his buddies. He was in a workshop, taking notes, absorbing every word. This man who had led thousands of Sunday School and leadership conferences always had a positive comment about the conferences he attended and an encouraging word to give the presenter.
In Proverbs 15:22 we read, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Who do you listen to and learn from? Who do you turn to when you need guidance? Develop a long list of people you can call on for advice and counsel. Ask them to serve on your personal board of advisors. Develop friendships with a variety of leaders–business leaders, community and government leaders, ministers from other denominations, ministers in situations similar to yours, leaders in technology, and leaders of schools and other non-profit organizations. Surround yourself with good people and you’ll grow.

Effective leaders learn by leading. You are most ready to learn when you are in the middle of a leadership problem. Seminaries are sometimes criticized because they do not prepare ministers to lead. While you may learn basic information in a classroom environment, the best education happens on the job. Discussing case studies and role-playing how to deal with angry church members are helpful techniques, but your education kicks in when you are confronted with an emotionally distraught church leader after a business meeting. Every so often an alumnus will call and ask if I could send information about an issue he or she is dealing with in ministry. The alumnus remembers we discussed the topic in class, but at the time it didn’t seem important. The truth is, the alumnus wasn’t ready to learn before, when sitting in a classroom. Now, he or she is all ears, actively seeking answers and paying close attention.
We are more motivated to learn when the learning has immediate application. Teenagers are usually not interested in attending classes on parenting. But give them a few years, a marriage, and a toddler who needs potty training and suddenly they are interested in parenting skills.
What skills do you need in your current leadership position? What goals do you have for the coming year? Write your own personal development plan to guide your efforts at learning while leading. Find out what conferences are available to help improve your leadership skills. It has been reported that information is changing so rapidly that the half-life of your seminary degree is three to four years. This means if you want to be an effective minister in this rapidly changing world, you will need to continually retool and constantly work to enhance your skills.

Effective leaders learn by failure. A vice-president in a major corporation walked into the CEO’s office and submitted a letter of resignation. The VP had made a recent decision that had cost the company a very large amount of money, and he was sure his boss would not want him to stay. The CEO read the letter in his presence and then tore it up. The bewildered executive asked, “Why aren’t you accepting my resignation? I just cost the company over a million dollars.” The CEO replied, “I can’t afford to fire you. I’ve got too much invested in your education.” This CEO knew that all of us fail. The question is, “What did you learn from your failures?”
Ineffective leaders attempt to deal with failure by deflecting the blame. By defending their decisions or blaming the results on someone else, or by excusing the results because of circumstances, they refuse to be accountable for their failure. Effective leaders take responsibility for their actions and decisions. They evaluate how they can improve their skills so they don’t make the same mistake twice.
Where have you failed recently? What did you learn from your mistakes? How could you have handled the situation differently? Did you discuss the problem with someone else in order to evaluate your mistakes? What relationships have been bruised? Record these leadership lessons in a journal.

Effective leaders learn by serving. Harry reminded me that leadership is service. It’s amazing what you learn by serving in other non-profit or professional organizations. How do other organizations enlist volunteers? How do they motivate the troops? How do they respond to crisis or criticism? How do they communicate to their constituents?
Harry enjoyed serving others. He didn’t have to have a title or a position to find ways to help others. His agenda was to love those around him. I miss this eternally optimistic servant leader. Thanks, Harry, for serving as a wonderful example of an effective leader.

Terminated

Over the past year, I have had nearly a dozen friends who joined the honored list of those terminated by their church or ministry organization. These terminations were not the result of moral failure. These were all good, godly men and women. For some it was due to economics, but for most it was much more complicated. For all of them, the termination was devastating to them and their family, particularly in this economically difficult time. In church lingo, we say that men and women are “called” to a ministry; not hired. But when things go south, every one of them is fired. Like others terminated from the workforce, the “let go” lose more than just their income. They lose their church family, their colleagues, their self-esteem, their sense of worth, confidence, and sense of calling. For some, they lose their faith in the goodness of the church. In extreme cases, they lose their faith in God. They feel rejected, beat-up, and discouraged. It affects the spouse and their children, who bear the emotional scars for years. The loss of income can lead to the loss of their house, and financial ruin. For each of my friends, they felt called to that church or ministry and still believed that calling was on their life. They are now told they are unable to continue in that calling and they cry out, “Where is God in all of this?”

Staff members and their families are not the only ones affected. A termination has rippling effects though out that individual’s ministry and church. In many cases, the individual was terminated without any opportunity for closure with church friends and fellow staff members. These staff members were surprised when they received the news of the termination. Church members closest to the staff member are also shocked and grieve the loss. In one larger church, the dismissal was conducted by someone in Human Resources, rather than a pastoral staff member. In most cases, the churches behaved less “Christian” than secular businesses. A termination, particularly if it is wrongful, will impact the leadership of those who remain.

Because of the expense of hiring new personnel, secular businesses go to great lengths to find the best prospects, train them, and keep them. When employees do not work out in secular organizations, they have specific procedures for trying to rectify the problem, provide notice of what will occur if improvements are not observed; a process that is clearly articulated over a course of six months to a year. In other words, there should be no surprises.

Some individuals are asked to resign (rather than be fired) and they must sign non-disclosure statements or they will forfeit any severance. A stigma is attached to staff members who are terminated, making it longer for them to secure another ministry position in a church or ministry. That’s why I recommend that a staff member stay in a difficult situation until they are called to another church. Churches take months to “call” ministers. The autonomous nature of many evangelical churches makes it difficult to get a resume before a church and it is a laborious process. It is often not what you know, but who you know.

The purpose of the blog is not to question the decision by a pastor or personnel committee to terminate a church staff member. Sometimes a staff member is not a good fit, or they are not on the same page as to mission or strategy, or they are ineffective in their ministry. Paul and Barnabas parted ways at one point in their ministry. I understand that. My question is not about why, but how. An African proverb says, “It is not only what you do, but how you do it that matters.” I lament for my friends and their losses.

Should churches and non-profit organizations approach hiring and firing differently than secular businesses? How much severance is appropriate? What responsibility does the pastor and church have in shepherding those who are released from the flock? I’d love to hear your thoughts, stories, and faith journeys. Respond on this blog or email me at daryl.eldridge@rsconnect.org. Your name will not be shared with anyone.

Sox H8r

Last week I was behind a car with the above license plate. I might lack hermeneutic skills, but I think this person does not like the White Sox, Red Sox, or some other socks. I’m not suggesting this is a mean or bad person, but the license plate got me thinking. Would I want my life, my existence to be defined by what I hate or defined by what I’m against?

When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out. What are my passions? What comes out when the pressures of life squeeze me? What pours out of my soul when I speak or write? Do others know me by what I hate, or by what I love? Do you know of a person, when life squeezes in on them, Jesus comes out?

Unfortunately, evangelical Christians are known more for what they are against, rather than what they are for. If you ask a secular person what are the teachings of Jesus, they say: don’t judge, love unconditionally, and forgive. When a secular person asks about what they think about Christians they often say we are judgmental, bigoted, and unforgiving. In others words, we are the antithesis of Christ. To them, we are the anti-Christ.

Jesus said, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35, NIV) That is often lacking in our public discourse. Christian media spokespersons rail against fellow believers, using hateful language and tone. It brings back memories of Roberta Flack singing, “Where is the love?”

The gospel is not about how to live a moral life, but how your life can be transformed by the love and Spirit of God. Paul, a bi-vocational church planter encouraged followers of Jesus with these words, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. (Galatians 5:22-24, NIV)

Several years ago, I was following a car with a bumper sticker that said, “Honk if you love Jesus.” So, I passed the car and repeatedly honked my horn. To my surprise the man gave me the finger and I don’t think it was the “To God be the Glory” sign. When life squeezes you, what comes out? My prayer is that it will be Jesus.

Suicide

This week I received news of a minister who in his retirement years took his own life. A friend emailed me and asked my thoughts about the soul that commits suicide.  The following is my reply.

I’m so sorry to hear this news. It is sad to see a deeply troubled soul. I grieve for his family and friends. The questions are many and any answer or explanation is inadequate. I am aware of several ministers, godly men, who ended their life tragically like this. We grieve over his soul’s lack of hope, his overwhelming despair, and his inability to seeing anything worth living for. We can only surmise the mental and emotional pain he must have been experiencing.

As you know, there are many different reasons/causes for a soul in despair. Depression and other mental illnesses may be due to an absence of certain chemicals in the brain, trauma, unmet expectations, pain, sin, or poor self identity. The list is lengthy. We are complex beings and our body, soul, and spirit interact in mysterious and marvelous ways. Brain research is just beginning to scratch the surface on the relationship between our thoughts, emotions, and behavior. If I have an imbalance of important chemicals in my brain, no matter how hard I try, I can’t control the mental and emotional aspects of my being. Sometimes doctors are able to formulate the right concoction of drugs to replace the missing chemicals in our body. Unfortunately, sometimes the side effects of such prescriptions are worse than the symptoms and themselves lead a person to end life. Whatever the underlying causes for this act, it impaired his ability to hear the voice of God and to find peace. Or in a strange way, maybe his trust in God and his faith in heaven, resulted in the decision to escape the present pain for an everlasting joy.

Some of our curiosity to know how people died or why they suffered from a mental illness may have to do with our desire to control our destiny. If we eat the right food, or if we exercise and not drink alcohol, read our Bible each day and pray, or believe the right things, then maybe we will not come down with that same affliction. What is bothering about individuals, like your friend, is that he was committed to Christ, did all the right things, and still came to a disturbing conclusion.

While each of us can determine certain things and through self-control improve our quality of life, much of life is out of our control. We can’t control our genetic predispositions, circumstances, or other people. We can’t control the aging process, or changing hormones. We can’t control the economy. We just can’t control life. Because of the BRCA1 genetic mutation I inherited from my ancestors, if I live long enough, I will get pancreatic cancer. There is nothing I can do about it. We can either accept the fact that we can’t control life and put our trust in God, or continue our pursuit of control. Suicide bothers us because we view it as playing God. In a sense, suicide is a final act of control.

Before we are too quick to judge him, each day we all play God when we assume control of life. So, as in other things that we cannot control or explain, we trust God to be good and to be Lord. He fashioned us before the world began and knows each one of us intimately. He understands the reasons for this person’s agony, and sees the totality of his life, not just this one selfish, desperate act. We are comforted in knowing that this troubled soul is now at peace. This is grace. And maybe our remembrance of this person will help us to surrender our control of life and trust God regardless of the circumstance or season of life.

Looking forward,

Worker B’s

Today we had some granite counter tops installed in our kitchen. Two guys from Solid Surface Designs showed up to install this beautiful black/green rock from Brazil, called Uba Tuba. I saw the marvelous color and variations in the rock and I said, “Wow! Go God!” Yes, it was a sacred moment.

Brad and Brian referred to themselves as the worker B’s. These two guys are amazing. Brad has been installing granite for 14 years. Brian on the other hand is fairly new to the trade. I watched them move a 500 pound of rock from the truck, up five steps, and carefully laid it on the cabinets. They constantly talked to one another. The older, experienced installer told the younger how they were going to move it, step by step. “Will you need to stop?” Brian replied, “No, let’s go all the way.” Brad asked Brian if he was ready and then “3, 2, 1” they slid the granite down the truck. Again, “3, 2, 1” and they slid it another 3 feet. “Three, two, one” and the two picked up the slab and carefully walked toward the house. “How are you doing?” “Piece of cake.” Brad said, “In two feet you’ve got two steps.” Another 3 feet and he said, “You’ve got three more steps.” “Are you okay?” If one of them stumbled, if they were unable to lift it properly, both could have been injured and the single piece of rock would be broken and worthless. Just watching them carry the heavy granite 90 feet made my back hurt. This was one job I’m glad we outsourced.

The Worker B’s laid the granite on the cabinet and then slid it several inches until it rested against the wall. It took brute strength. Miscommunication meant one of them could lose a finger when the rock was pushed against an immovable wall or cabinet. Rock is unforgiving. These two colleagues and friends looked out for one another.

This experience was a great reminder to me that whether it’s a team of 2 or a team of 20, effectiveness and success require constant communication. A word misspoken or misunderstood can sometimes cause irreparable damage to a marriage, a family member, a friendship, a work relationship, or an organization.

Like me, you probably have witnessed a lack of communication in an organization. There is a classic line in the movie, “Cool Hand Luke, ” where one of the prison officials says, “What we have here is failure to communicate.” I’m convinced that one of the things that set great companies apart from average companies is the effectiveness of their communication. Poor leaders withhold information. They fear that if they give information away they lose their power. They want to control it. They hoard it.

Great organizations and great leaders are great communicators. They let people know what they are doing, why they are doing it, and when the action will occur. They communicate constantly. Effective leaders give information away. They seek information. They want to know the truth. They desire feedback from others on how they are doing. Only by knowing what is going on can you improve your organization and your relationships. Communication saves.

Spirituality and Reading

Tommy Sparger has a good blog on “Self-Feeding:  Taking personal responsibility for your spiritual growth.” His plan encourages believers to read 1 Psalm, 1 chapter in Proverbs, and 1 chapter in the gospels. He also wants Jesus followers to journal their insights from their reading and pray.

Don’t misunderstand me. Each of these items may help one grow spiritually. I find no fault with these activities or suggest that Sparger is wrong. However, his blog led me to some sacred questioning. In spite of pastors’ yearly challenge to read the entire Bible during the year and to practice a daily quiet time,  few Christian take the message to heart. One survey found that only 16% of Christians read the Bible daily.  I asked some well educated men over the weekend what they were reading. Few in the group read anything other than work-related documents. I recall a study that said 10% of Christian books are read by men (those are mostly ministers) and the other 90% are read by women. The fact is, men are not readers and many women are not either.

How much time does it take to do Sparger’s plan? Is this realistic? Was this an expectation of the early disciples, since the Bible was not available to the masses? Has this been a spiritual practice handed down through the centuries or is this a fairly recent expectation?

I’m not trying to give Christians an out for reading God’s Word, but out of sacred curiosity I pose the following questions.  Have we limited spiritual growth to reading? How do we help a generation get connected to God if they are not readers? What are your reactions or experiences?

Charlie

Charlie Taplin

I was a child when I first met Charlie Taplin. Charlie was a bi-vocational minister. A telephone pole man and later a restaurant owner, he was also our minister of worship. Big in stature and rugged looking from working outside, I remember his strong hand shake and beautiful tenor voice. He was a man’s man. Charlie had no formal musical background, but when he sang you knew he loved Jesus. What he may have lacked in training, he made up for in spirit. He was gifted. It may have been his love for music and his love for Jesus that motivated me to sing. During college and in my early years of ministry, I too, was a worship leader.

One of his favorite songs was “But Until Then,” by Stuart Hamlin. Charlie could never finish the song without crying. I haven’t heard this song in more than 30 years. The music doesn’t fit our contemporary style of worship, but it still captures my thoughts about life, Charlie, and Jesus. The verses of this hymn read,

My heart can sing when I pause to remember
A heartache here is but a stepping stone
Along a trail that’s winding always upward,
This troubled world is not my final home.
The things of earth will dim and lose their value
If we recall they’re borrowed for awhile;
And things of earth that cause the heart to tremble,
Remembered there will only bring a smile.
This weary world with all its toil and struggle
May take its toll of misery and strife;
The soul of man is like a waiting falcon;
When it’s released, it’s destined for the skies.
The chorus then resounds with this commitment:

Chorus
But until then my heart will go on singing,
Until then with joy I’ll carry on,
Until the day my eyes behold the city,
Until the day God calls me home.

This week God called Charlie home.

Eric Collier

Our plane was canceled and Carole and I were trying to get on another flight that evening, in order to make an important appointment the next morning. As so often happens when you pray the Lord’s prayer, God demonstrates his will and his Kingdom activity. Standing in line right behind us was a fellow traveler, trying to make the same connection. We were all rerouted to Washington Reagan, which was 35 miles from Baltimore where we needed to be. The plane would be arriving late (turned out to be 2:00 a.m.) and we discussed with this Baltimore resident what our transportation options were for getting from Washington to Baltimore. To make a longer story short, he offered to accompany us and get us to our destination.

As we sat and waited to board the plane, we shared our life stories. Eric is a regional development manager for Mercy Ships. Based out of Tyler, Texas, Mercy Ships is a global charity that has operated hospital ships in developing nations since 1978. Mercy Ships brings hope and healing to the forgotten poor by mobilizing people and resources worldwide, and serving all people without regard for race, gender, or religion. Carole and I had heard of their work, but knew little about the organization. Having invested a year of our life in a medical and theological ministry in Africa, we are appreciative of ministries that serve developing countries. A former owner of an advertising agency, Eric wanted to do something that was significant and meaningful in life. God brought him to Mercy Ships.

Eric has wonderful people skills and the gifts of hospitality and mercy. That evening, Eric was our mercy ship. We shared a cab ride to Baltimore airport, and because our hotel shuttle was no longer running, he took us to our hotel.

Your church or organization may be looking for ways to conduct medical missions. Perhaps you have doctors, nurses, dentists, and other health care professionals that would be interested in an international medical mission’s experience. Mercy Ships also has many opportunities for non-medical personnel service, computer support, administration, education, maritime trades, community development, cooks, hospitality, housekeeping, stewards, and communication positions. Some of the venues for service include West Africa, Sierra Leone, Central America, and the Dominican Republic. If you have ever planned an international mission’s trip, you know the administrative effort that requires. Mercy Ships also has a division that can do the entire trip planning for you. Please check out www.mercyships.org and hear remarkable stories of how God’s good news is proclaimed through this ministry.

Delaney Marie

Delaney Marie Eldridge

My newest soul friend is Delaney Marie Eldridge.  She was born Friday, February 27, 2009, to our son Mark, and his wife, Leigha.   Delaney weighed in at 7lbs 10 oz. and 19.5” long.  We are excited to have this newest addition to our tribe.   It takes your breath away to see this beautiful tabula rasa.  She has so much to learn about life and her creator.

 

 

David, the song writer, penned these words:

You made my whole being; you formed me in my mother’s body. I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful. I know this very well. You saw my bones being formed as I took shape in my mother’s body. When I was put together there, you saw my body as it was formed. All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old.   Psalm 139:13-16 (NCV)

 

 

There is no mention of birthday celebrations in the Bible.  Celebrations of birth are a western tradition.  The Jewish tradition holds that your birth alone is not as significant as the way you live your life. The following is attributed to King Solomon: “The day of death is better than the day of one’s birth (Ecclesiastes 7:1).  As a midrash explains, ‘When a person is born, it is not known what he will be like when grown and what his deeds will be – whether righteous or wicked, good, or evil. When she dies, however, if she departs with a good name and leaves the world in peace, people should rejoice.”

 

Even before Delaney arrived, her days were already planned by our creator.  God has a plan for her life and I get to see the beginning of the journey.   My prayer today for Delaney is,

 

God of days and years, author of life, our times are in your hand.  We thank You for the blessings of life and for all that enriches our lives.  We thank you for Delaney.  May she be blessed with health and happiness.   May You give her the strength to overcome adversity.  May she discover your loving kindness and grace.  We thank your this blessing and ask that you would use her to be a blessing to others.  Amen. 

 

Anne Jackson

I love the title of her book, Mad Church Disease. In this treatise, Anne Jackson writes about ministry burnout.  Anne grew up a preacher’s kid. She has served in numerous ministry capacities and is currently on the staff at Cross Pointe Church in Nashville. She knows first-hand the effects of burnout. Burnout can lead to bitterness toward the church and church leaders. In her practical book she discusses how to avoid and overcome burnout.

I love this new generation of Jesus’ followers. They are passionate about the gospel. They are open and honest about their journey of faith. My soul is enriched from their passion, authenticity, and insights. See what I mean….